It is funny how we usually undergo some form of training for most life endeavours but we are expected to automatically know how to care for little humans with varying personalities and loads of energy without proper training or guidance
Assuming that parenting will be easy is one of the first challenges we face. The sad part is we are usually ashamed to admit and seek assistance from the right sources when we are unsure or confused.
I am sure a lot of us have gone online in search of online for articles on “How to raise a Muslim family” but we rarely get the search results we seek.
Implementing Positive Parenting in our home is actually one of the best ways to bring up our children.
Why you may ask? This is because the positive parenting approach actually gives you the tools to use on your journey as a parent.
If you have decided to adopt the positive parenting style into your home, one of your concerns would be how to introduce these new changes to your family.
Well, the good news is that it is a gradual process and besides, children adapt easily.
As Muslim parents, we should be assured that as long as we set the foundations of our home on the teachings of Islam, we shall be successful.
Young children are still in the process of learning what is right and what is wrong, and the correct way to behave in their environment. It is our responsibility to teach them.
The Prophet (SAW) said: “No child is born except on al-fitra (Islam or primordial human nature) and then his parents make him Jewish, Christian or Magian, as an animal produces a perfect young animal: do you see any part of its body amputated?” [Sahih Muslim]
This hadith means that children are created pure, sinless and with a natural predisposition for good and a belief in Allah and are therefore influenced otherwise by the environment in which they find themselves.
An Islamic foundation is, therefore crucial when raising our children since Islam is a way of life and guides all we do.Here are some basic things we need to note as Muslim parents:
- Role Modelling: Children learn through imitation. We are expected to be positive role models for our children as they imitate us “their parents” more than anyone. If you find any undesired behaviour in your child, check if you or your spouse or anyone living in close vicinity has acted similarly in front of your child.
- Kindness and Mercy: The Prophet (SAW) showed kindness and mercy to children and he was patient with them. He played with children and was always affectionate towards them. This tells us that he respected children and understood that children react to the way they are treated as this affects their physical, emotional, cognitive and social development.
- Boundaries and Rules: As Muslims, we are expected to set boundaries and rules in our homes and explain the importance to our children. Children love being told the reason why we do certain things in certain ways. When they ask why you are setting new rules and making new schedules, be patient and explain to them. Don’t shut them out. Rather, involve your children and explain the significance of rules made by Allah and explain to them why we need to make rules too.
In setting the foundation for a positive parenting Muslim home, it is important to destroy preconceived parenting beliefs and create new beliefs that align with how you want to raise your children.
Islam emphasises the importance of responsibilities in the family. This is also important as trying to do things all by yourself causes frustration and resentment. Give your children some responsibilities to make them learn to be independent and to ease some of the burdens off yourself.
Show your children that you are a team and teams work together for success. You may start with simple responsibilities like asking your kid to help set the table, to put their dirty clothes in the hamper, to bring in the clean clothes. Little things like these will set the foundation for future responsibilities.
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me in the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open.