Asalam Alaykum Waramatullah Wabarakatuh Sis,
You have heard this countless of times, Parenting is no easy feat.
Becoming the perfect parent to the perfect child is the dream of all women. However, most of us feel being a parent involves either being a pushover who lets her child get everything she wants or one who says no to everything or stuck somewhere in between.
Most times, we want our children to be picture perfect because we are conscious of other people’s opinion. We are unknowingly more conscious of what people will say instead of how our child or children feel. We either berate children in public to show that we are in charge or give in to all their demands to show that we love them.
I am so sorry to burst your bubble but there is no such thing as a perfect parent sis and i am here to tell you that it’s time to leave what people will think and say alone.
Let us instead focus on parenting for the sake of Allah (SWT) and inherently we become the best parents for our children.
Since becoming a perfect mom is impossible, Are you ready to learn the next best thing?
It is becoming a Positive Parent Sis.
- Sounds awesome right?
- So what is the secret?
- Is it even possible to bring up your children in a yelling free, shaming free but empowering home?
Definitely Sis, It is. You can do this by following the principles of parenting found in the Qur’an and Sunnah; also by learning simple techniques based on the world’s leading scientifically proven parenting methods that will make your parenting more enjoyable and help you become more strategic as a parent.
What is this technique you might ask?
It is Positive Parenting. Positive Parenting was propagated by Arthur Adler and it asserts that children deserve to be treated with dignity and respect as in line with the principles of Islam as well. In addition, Positive Parenting holds children to realistic standards by using clear expectations and empowering children to become resilient and capable children you want them to be.
The Prophet (SAW) said: “Everyone of you is a guardian and is responsible for his charges. The ruler who has authority over people, is a guardian and is responsible for them; a man is a guardian of his family and is responsible for them; a woman is a guardian of her husband’s house and children and is responsible for them; a slave is a guardian of his master’s property and is responsible for it; so all of you are guardians and are responsible for your charges.” [Sahih al-Bukhari]
According to the hadith, you are the guardian of your home and this is a huge responsibility that involves bringing up your children to become responsible, empowered, resilient and righteous muslims In shaa Allah.
This is actually easier than it sounds. Children have an inherent need to feel significant, to belong and be relevant and once they are treated with respect, shown that they are important, they will definitely grow along the path we want for them.
Parenthood is a life journey and we all need to be well equipped for it sis. Our kids are the perfect motivation to be the best we can be. They push us like no other person can and we have to grow and learn right alongside them. Therefore, we need tools, prompts, reminders, and inspiration to help us grow intentionally as parents.
When Positive Parenting skills are learned and applied consistently, it will give us the confidence and peace for us to raise our imperfect family.
Here are some things Positive Parenting will do for your family.
- Create a Tone of Respect in Your Home: Positive parenting helps you create an environment where your children learn to respect others. You teach them this by showing them respect. Children will rise to their potential when they are treated like fellow human beings, deserving of patience, kindness, and respect.
- Better Communication: When you treat your children with respect and empathy, it becomes easier to talk to them as humans, appreciate their opinions and teach them. This means you are teaching your child/children how to communicate. You can give your child/children a head start on healthy communication and healthy relationships for life- by teaching positive communication skills now. You can also nurture the love of the deen through positive means instead of FORCE or COERCION which can push them away from the DEEN (the complete opposite of what you are trying to achieve).
- Better Attitudes and Behaviors: Naturally when people are treated with respect, they have a better attitude. Your children will understand why certain behaviours are wrong. Your kids would exude better behaviours and attitudes because of the firm foundation in unconditional love and acceptance. Also, the strong parent-child connection which you would exude by connecting before correcting would lead to an all-around improvement in our kids’ ability to listen, cooperate and be flexible.
- Enjoy Each Other’s Company: Children love having their parent’s attention. They thrive when they know that they have access to you and your time. Positive Parenting would help you be present with your children, enjoy their company and get to know them for who they are not who you want them to be In shaa Allah.
- Be Confident about your Parenting Skills: Sis, Have you ever yelled at your child and seen the fear and lack of confidence in their eyes? When children are ruled with fear, they will find it difficult to make decisions and they might not be able to approach you because they do not know how you will react. Positive parenting principles remind you that children are intrinsically good and want to please YOU but we parents often jump in following our own emotional reactions, robbing the child of the opportunity to feel the weight of natural consequences.
In conclusion, now you know why it is important to adopt the Positive Parenting principle in your home. It allows you to build a happy, confident home knowing that you are fulfilling the amanah (trust) placed on you by Allah.
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me in the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open.