Do you know a mom who has an acidic way with words? She watches out for the things not done right and is quick to judge and criticize her children. After a while, her children stopped trying.
I know you are not this Mom but let’s imagine a situation where a child missed two sums out of ten but the parent focused on and criticized the two he missed instead of appreciating the eight he got right.
How do you think the child would feel? Dejected? Rejected? Sad, Not good enough? Not smart enough?
When children make efforts, it should be our great pleasure to let them know we appreciate it by complimenting them.
Failure to acknowledge the good deeds and accomplishments of our children can leave them feeling ignored, neglected, or simply unfulfilled by our lack of attention.
Complimenting a child is a very valuable parenting tool.
Compliments are a form of positive affirmation and children need these form of affirmation from their parents in the early and formative years.
Giving compliments to children does wonders for their self-esteem and sense of worth. It encourages them to do better and boosts their confidence.
Try complimenting your child’s effort as a way of encouraging her to try again and watch your child blossom.
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Try and focus on what your children have done right and give them the appropriate compliment. “I appreciate how your reading has improved since the beginning of the term” or “I notice how much effort you put into your Quran memorization”.
You will be amazed how this simple act will change the atmosphere in your home.
Give your child a compliment for being kind, for making smart choices, when you see them putting forth an effort to achieve something, give them a compliment when you catch them being good.
It is also important for children to learn how to give compliments and they can only learn from us.
Most of us might find it difficult to compliment our children because we are not used to it; probably didn’t grow up hearing a lot of compliments. However, once we make it a habit, it will become natural to our children too to give compliments In shaa Allah.
Remember, you are their role model.
The Prophet (SAW) taught us to be especially merciful to our children and to guide them from a place of love and respect.
Our children deserve to be appreciated and it is our job to do this and build them into exceptional human beings. Giving them compliments when they make efforts will build their self-esteem and confidence.
How many compliments would you aim to give your kids this week?
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me in the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open.
