Asalam alaykum sis.
Do you ever stop to really listen to your child/ren?
As parents, we often complain that our children don’t listen but listening is a two way street.
I am guilty of this too but not a lot of us parents really listen to our children.
We tend to forget that our children need attention and need to be listened to amidst all our mummy duties.
There is a lot you can learn from your child by listening.
It may seem difficult to do, because you are usually busy and distracted but one of the most important ways to be a better parent is by being an attentive listener.
Becoming a good listener when your child wants to share something is key to fostering understanding and trust; yet many times we listen half-heartedly without even realizing it because we are simply in the habit of being too busy.
Listening shows that you are paying full attention.
Like when your child calls out to you with a question or with something to talk about; you should make it a habit to drop what you were doing to listen and turn your whole body to face the child to show full attention.
You will not only connect with your child, you will be teaching him/her listening skills.
When using the Positive Parenting style, there are tools parents can use for better listening such as;
Validate feelings: I can see this is very upsetting for you. It ounds like you are really sad, mad, feeling hurt.
Ask Curiosity Questions: What happened? Want to talk about it?
Invite Deeper Sharing: Anything else? Is there more? Anything else? Are you sure?
Listen with your Lips Closed: Hmmmm.
Have Faith in Your Child: Know that, in most cases, your child simply needs a supportive, listening ear as part of the process of venting before coming up with his or her solution. Through this process your child learns resiliency (“I can deal with the ups and downs of life.”) and capability (“I can survive getting upset and figure out solutions
Learn how to stay listening: Stay listening is a wonderful way to support kids in the difficult moments. It is a way of taking time to actually stop and listen to the child’s feelings and let them know that you accept their emotions.
As parents, it’s our responsibility to create a safe place for our children to express all their feelings. This will allow us to build a strong and trustful relationship with our kids.
So would you be willing to listen more attentively to your kids from now on?
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me in the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open.