Everybody makes mistakes and guess what?
Mistakes are wonderful opportunities to learn. Growing up, most of us were told that adults don’t lie and adults don’t make mistakes.
This is a fallacy most of us continue to believe even as adults and parents too. Parents are human beings who are learning and making mistakes daily and this is okay because it is only through mistakes that you will be able to strive for improvement.
It is important that we learn to accept our mistakes because this teaches humility and self-acceptance.
Some of us grew up with parents who would never admit to a mistake and we knew how hurtful that could be. Accepting that you have made a mistake is the first step to making amends
Positive discipline teaches 3 R’s of Recovery after a mistake has been made. They are the steps that make mistakes a learning opportunity.
- Recognise the mistake and take responsibility.
- Reconcile by apologising.
- Resolve the problem by working out a solution.
Recognise the mistake and take responsibility: Recognising the mistake and taking responsibility connects you with the child. Connection before correction is the foundation of seeking a child’s forgiveness. It shows your child that you are sincerely sorry and that you accept that you are wrong.
The first step is the hardest and most important step, it is also the hardest for most parents. It means you have thought about what happened and you are admitting that you have made a mistake.
Reconcile by apologising: When you reconcile by apologising you will be teaching genuine remorse. Making mistakes is sometimes inevitable. It is what you do after the mistakes the determines the outcome.
Saying “I am sorry” to a child is the most humane thing to do because it shows that you have completely owned the mistake. Have you ever truly apologised to your child before?
Resolve the problem: Working out a solution is the ultimate teachable moment. Here you will work with your children to resolve the problem by showing them respect and teaching them problem-solving skills.
If you make a mistake, you can recover from it using this approach.
These three steps teach what Islam says about forgiveness. If someone wronged another, the act must first be addressed with the wronged person who should be asked for forgiveness before asking forgiveness from Allah.
Islam teaches human beings to be forgiving and if someone sincerely asks for forgiveness, the wronged person should forgive him. Our beloved Prophet (SAW) said: “Whoever suffers an injury and forgives (the person responsible), God will raise his status to a higher degree and remove one of his sins.”
Our children learn from what we do and going through these steps will teach them that anyone can make a mistake and it is important as Muslims for us to learn to seek forgiveness and forgive as well.
An entire chapter of the Quran, Surah Rahman is devoted to the quality of mercy and the countless favors Allah has given to His man. It is one of the most mellow and soul awakening surahs of the Holy Quran.
Allah is the Most Merciful and He forgives those who ask forgiveness with repentance. Allah emphasises the importance of forgiveness so that we may have the strength to forgive others and also ask forgiveness from them.
If we expect forgiveness from Almighty Allah then we also have the ability to forgive others.
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me on the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the Waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open