Have you ever looked at your dictionary to check the meaning of the word “Pamper”?
The dictionary states that it is to “indulge with every attention, comfort, and kindness; spoil.”
Does this sound very positive? Well, I don’t think it does.
We all want our child/ren to become a strong, independent adult(s) who can be whatever they aspire to and take on anything they set their minds to do. Right?
Yet, we often undermine our children’s abilities by doing basic things they know how to do for them.
Would you prefer to raise confident children who are sure about their capabilities and can face doing things with confidence or children who have not been allowed to make mistakes and learn?
It’s our responsibility to teach them how to handle pain and difficulties, rather than shielding them from harm and discomfort. If there is no struggle, there is no room for growth or improvement.
When we pamper our children, we take away their opportunity to learn that would allow them to develop the qualities we want them to have; experience and define themselves through tough times.
Don’t rescue them when they don’t need rescuing, and don’t tell them what to do when they can figure it out on their own.
- Pampering limits a child’s experiences and prevents them from finding themselves.
- Pampering your children can stifle their willingness to explore and learn new things.
- It can create a sense of entitlement and selfish behavior.
- Pampering also fosters laziness.
- Pampering often undermines a child’s self-confidence
- Pampering deprives a child of the satisfaction that comes with a job well done
- Pampering creates weakness because children develop the belief that others should do everything for them
We fail to recognize that our children can do a lot of things if we give them the chance to. You will be amazed by how well children can handle tasks when left to do them. Children just like you feel a sense of accomplishment when they get things done.
Children learn to be capable and self-confident by doing things for themselves, making mistakes, struggling and facing challenges.
As much as we desire to give them the world, we must remember that our job as parents is to raise respectable, conscientious individuals who can take care of themselves when the time comes.
I hope you know that showing affection or telling your children that you love them does not count as pampering. Giving hugs is not pampering. Giving compliments is not pampering. Validating feelings is not pampering.
How do you know you are pampering? Easy.
Do you find yourself doing things that your child can easily do or learn?
Do you keep tolerating bad attitudes and behaviors from your child?.
Do you do the dishes even though it is on child’s to-do list?
Do you help your child look for their shoes and put them on and carry their bags even though they are perfectly capable?
The best you can do is take the time to train and allow them to learn. Allow your children take on tasks after you have taught them by taken the time to train them. Be positive and supportive and show faith in them to accomplish the task or solve the problem.
One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to allow them to develop the belief, “I am capable.”
I hope you have learnt something. If yes, would you like to join me in the Parenting for Jannah Academy? You should join the waitlist HERE to be notified when next we are open.
Ma sha Allah for all the materials you have been give us .May Allah Almighty reward and your family. And I will continued to say jazakhallahmun hayran
Ameen sis. Awww thank you so much. Wa iyyakkum
Masha Allah! Truly educating, May Allah continue to increase you in knowledge. Aameen.
Ameen sis. Thanks so much for your duas
You are doing a great job. May God bless you my sister
Awww thanks for your kind words sis. Ameen
So educative, Jazakumlah. Khairan ma
wa iyyakum sis
Jazakumlah khairan may Allah increase your knowledge.
Wa iyakkum and you too sis. Ameen to your dua
Mansha alh my allah in creasing your knowledge aamin.
Ameen and you too sis